Beneath the Current Read online

  Casey actually chuckled as he looked over at Shawn grinning at him. He couldn't believe how comfortable he felt around the guy after spending just a couple hours with him each of the last few days. Even with the current of interest bubbling beneath the surface, they had settled quickly into an easy friendship, something Casey had quickly latched onto, even if he didn't have much experience interacting with others. It terrified him how much he now craved Shawn's attention. What if he said something or did something that drove him away, like Roshan?

  "I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours," Shawn said with a flirtatious wink, catching Casey off guard from his inner deliberations.

  "What?"

  "Mine, I'll tell you my boyfriend horror story, if you tell me about your whatever at the clinic," Shawn offered, waving his hand to emphasize the whatever.

  "What are you, some girl? I'll tell you my secret if you tell me yours?" Casey joked. "This isn't some teenage sleepover or something."

  "Well, hell, it could be," Shawn said, wriggling his eyebrows. "And how would you know about teenage sleepovers anyway, Mr. Solitude?"

  "Hey, I've watched movies."

  "Not any good ones, if they have teenagers gossiping at sleepovers," Shawn quipped as he flopped back on his chair, obviously willing to give up the fight for information.

  Casey threw his towel in the guy's face, laughing. "Screw you."

  "Really?" Shawn sat up with a hopeful grin on his face, and Casey broke down into hysterical laughter, now used to Shawn's joking over the last few days.

  He hadn't been flirted with so blatantly before, probably never would again, but it wasn't scary anymore either. Shawn wasn't pressing him into a corner, trying to steal a forbidden kiss. He wasn't trying to snake a hand up Casey's shirt in a hidden storage room. They were out in the open, and Casey knew that Shawn wouldn't care who saw them together. Shawn wanted to be around him. Not hiding him in the closet.

  And suddenly Casey wanted to confide in Shawn. To tell him everything that he'd bottled up for the last five years since Thomas's death. He looked into Shawn's soft blue eyes staring at him as if he were the only person in the world.

  Well, he technically was to Casey, at the moment, but Casey suspected even if they were in a roomful of people that this man in front of him would still be aware of only him.

  "The guy kissed me," Casey finally admitted, glad the sun already made his skin flushed. He saw Shawn's tanned face turn toward him at the admission. And apparently, Shawn saw the tension in Casey's face because he bit back whatever joking retort he'd been about to make. The slight smile on Shawn's face faded as he obviously sensed something deeper in the simple words. "He was my first kiss. Hell, my only one."

  ****

  Shawn watched Casey toy with the hem of his swim trunks as he debated continuing. "He was an assistant, studying to be a doctor. Roshan was—"

  "Hot?" Shawn helped out with a small understanding smile.

  "Yeah," Casey sighed. "We'd been eyeing each other for a few weeks. I wasn't sure what I really felt. It was all kinda new to me, ya know?"

  Shawn nodded, knowing exactly how that felt. He'd been shy about showing how he felt about his first crush in high school as well. And he'd never acted on it, keeping his feelings stuffed well back in the closet. It wasn't until college that he'd finally admitted that he was attracted to men. While his family had been much more open-minded than he'd expected, he knew there were high school buddies who wouldn't have been as accepting had he come out earlier.

  "Well, he finally cornered me in the storage room one day and kissed me," Casey admitted in a rush.

  "And... did you kiss him back?" Shawn asked hesitantly, worried that maybe Casey had felt violated by this Roshan's assertiveness.

  "What?" Casey looked confused at what Shawn might be suggesting. "Yeah, of course."

  Shawn nodded, glad what he'd envisioned wasn't the case. "What happened after that? Any other rendezvous?"

  Casey flushed and dipped his head. "Yeah, he'd touch me when no one was looking or follow me into the storage room for another kiss and stuff."

  "And stuff?" Shawn's brow rose. It was certainly beginning to sound more and more like this guy had pressured Casey into doing something he didn't want to. "How old were you?"

  "Sixteen."

  "And he was...?"

  "Eighteen. Why?"

  "So I'm guessing he had more experience at this sort of thing," Shawn suggested.

  Casey practically snorted in laughter. "Fuck no. That was the problem. Hell, neither of us knew what we were doing. He didn't do much, just... well," Casey hesitated and flushed an even deeper shade of red, "...he would just, you know, rub his hand under my shirt and stuff... nothing really... you know..."

  Shawn let the poor embarrassed guy off the hook. "Okay, yeah, I get it," he grinned.

  Casey nodded, apparently grateful for the reprieve in explaining just how far that he and Roshan had not gotten. "Then one day, he just started ignoring me. Glaring at me, like I was doing something wrong when I tried to even talk to him."

  Shawn's deep frown mirrored Casey's. "Shit, that doesn't sound good. What was he, a closet case?"

  "Yeah, apparently. He blew up one day, claimed I was the one practically molesting him. In front of my uncle too."

  "Oh, shit, that sucks," Shawn sucked in a deep breath. "So he basically threw you under the bus after using you to play out his closet fantasies."

  Casey stared at him like he couldn't believe that Shawn had understood it all that easily. Had he been worried that I'd judge him for something some asshole did to him? Shawn thought.

  "Yeah, well, now you know why I haven't been back," Casey shrugged obviously trying to pretend the memory didn't bother him, but Shawn could tell that he'd been hurt pretty deeply. "So, your turn," Casey added quickly, apparently ready to be done with his part of the conversation.

  Shawn grinned. "So... this one time at band camp..." he said flippantly. He paused, waiting for a laugh, some reaction to break Casey's mood as he referenced the iconic movie.

  But he was just greeted with a frown and an odd tilt of that sandy head.

  "Really? Nothing?" Shawn practically pouted.

  "What?" Casey looked sincerely puzzled.

  "We really need to find you some decent movies to watch," Shawn grumbled. But he easily sat back, grabbing up the sun block next to the chair and started to slather it on as he let Casey know exactly what he now thought of his cheating ex-boyfriend who had royally screwed him over. "So it wasn't bad enough that I had to catch him making out with some buff macho biker dude with like fifty tattoos on my couch. But he had to blab to the world that Rachelle Adrian, the famous historical romance novelist, is actually a gay guy."

  ****

  "What?" Casey had listened to Shawn's tirade about his self-centered ex-boyfriend somewhat distantly as he'd followed the flow of Shawn's hands over his taunt abs and chest. He was so engrossed watching those hands smearing the gloppy white lotion over those long legs that he was sure that he must have missed something because he wasn't sure how a romance novelist fit into the story.

  "Here," Shawn said as he plopped the sun block in Casey's hand, "Put some on my back, will ya?"

  Absently, Casey took the tube and squeezed some out as Shawn presented his back. He stared at the expanse of bronze in front of him for a few seconds before he jerked and squirt some of the lotion on Shawn's back. He hesitantly reached his hand out and began to smooth it across the warm skin. He could practically feel his hands shaking as nerves that had been long gone since the first days they'd hung out together flooded back.

  As he spread the sun block over Shawn's skin, he fought to remember what he'd asked. He had to distract himself from the golden skin in front of him. That he was touching.

  "Um, what did you say about a romance novelist?" he practically croaked.

  Shawn's shoulders jerked slightly as he laughed. "You really don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"

&nbs
p; Casey's fingers paused in their exploration, wondering what he'd really missed when he'd let himself be distracted. "Uh, well, no. I guess not."

  "I'm Shawn Brockton, the gay guy who writes the Rachelle Adrian novels," Shawn seemed to try to prompt something he must have thought Casey knew already.

  "Really? You write romance?" Casey's hand slid across the broad shoulders to Shawn's neck. He rubbed briefly at a knot before his hand slipped down the long spine.

  "Yeah, I wrote really good romance. Like thousands of dollars worth of romance a month," Shawn said wistfully, turning slightly to look at Casey. "It's been all over the news and tabloids."

  "Oh," Casey frowned. "I guess I don't really pay a lot of attention to that sort of thing."

  Shawn only chuckled. "Yeah, I figured when you didn't react when I first told you my name."

  "So you're like hiding out here too. Like I am," Casey smiled.

  "Yeah, I guess in a way. Except you know why I'm hiding, to let the media storm die down a bit. You, on the other hand, just seem to be hiding indefinitely."

  Casey's smile fell.

  He dropped the tube of sun block in the sand and abruptly stormed off. Fuck him. Casey wasn't going to feel chastised for his isolation. It wasn't like he had a choice.

  "Casey! Wait!" Shawn's voice yelled after him. "I didn't mean it like that."

  He whipped around and Shawn nearly ran into him.

  "What the hell did you mean then? Because—" Casey stopped abruptly, his head tilting as he turned to look back towards his house. His eyes widened in horror.

  The crunch of tires on the gravel could be heard over the soft, rhythmic crash of the surf.

  Uncle Martin.

  ****

  Martin returned earlier than usual from work, hoping to analyze some of the data from Casey's lab work. He had been surprised by the stamina readings, as they seemed higher than usual and he wondered what might be causing it. Casey's blood pressure and heart rate seemed higher as well. As he steered down the narrow land bridge back to his home, he took a moment to take in their neighbor's home.

  The jeep was still there. So Shawn must still be in residence. Fortunately, the man had followed his mandate to stay on his side of the island as Martin had barely seen the man at all. He'd occasionally caught sight of him in the evenings on the beach, but he'd stayed to his side and hadn't bothered to try to come back and socialize.

  He finished the drive up to the house, slamming the car door as he exited. Opening the door to the cool house, he listened briefly for Casey. A quick, automatic check of the controls to Casey's collar told him everything was in working order. Even though the app on his phone said it was, he still habitually checked it every day. The shock of it going off this morning when Casey had set off the alarm still had his nerves on edge. He couldn't help feeling like Casey was testing him somehow, pushing his limits. To what purpose though, he had no idea.

  "Casey?" he called as he made his way upstairs, figuring the boy was in his room as usual.

  Finding the room empty, he frowned and made his way back down, next checking the library. Empty. He felt his chest tighten as he turned toward the kitchen. If Casey had been in there, he was sure he'd have heard him. Finding it empty as well, he wondered just what Casey could have done. Would he have defied his orders and gone out to the beach during the day? Had Casey let their damn neighbor see him swimming again?

  His hands fisted at his side as he stormed toward the glass doors to the deck. He flung the door open, fully expecting to look over the rail and see his investment exposing himself to the world in the waters below.

  "Uncle?"

  He nearly stumbled when Casey sat up from where he was laying on a towel on the deck. He didn't know whether to be happy or furious. The emotions warred within him as the boy looked up at him nervously.

  "What the fuck are you doing outside?" he finally growled. He'd had enough scares for one damn day.

  "I just wanted a little sun," the young man said, and Martin didn't like the slight edge of defiance in his voice. "You said I had to stay out of sight of our neighbors. And I have. He can't see me up here."

  Martin looked over the railing. He could see Shawn packing up his lounge chair. It was obvious he wasn't even interested in looking their way. Probably having not seen anything over the last several days, he didn't expect to now. And Casey was definitely hidden by the height of the deck.

  "I told you to stay inside," Martin gritted out.

  Casey rose, gathering up his towel, and even though Martin sensed a bit of fear radiating off the boy, Casey lifted his chin obstinately. "Nothing fucking happened! So what if our neighbor sees me. You already told him you have a nephew that visits. It's not like I'm running up to him and yelling 'hey, I'm a fucking mutant, look at me!'"

  Martin reached out to grab Casey, but when the boy instinctively ducked away, he noted the flinch of fear before Casey righted himself. Martin suppressed his grin. A little fear was always good in maintaining discipline. If Casey was afraid of what he might do, then he wouldn't risk truly defying him.

  But he had to be careful, maintain a balance, or he could push Casey away from him. He still needed Casey to fear the big, bad world outside their island more than he feared what Martin might do.

  So, he reached out and gripped the younger man's neck firmly. "Casey, you know I'm only worried about your safety. I don't want you taking unnecessary risks like you did this morning."

  "But—"

  Martin shook the boy's neck slightly like he might a rag doll. "Just follow my instructions from now on. Okay?"

  Casey sighed. "Yeah, fine."

  But Martin couldn't help but notice that the boy was still hedging the edge of rebellion.

  "Go make dinner. I'm going to check on your test results," he demanded.

  As Casey whipped open the door without even acknowledging his statement, Martin clenched his hand before storming back into his study. He briefly heard a pot slam down on the stove before he shut the door. Damn brat.

  ****

  Casey slammed the pot loudly to hide his shaking body. When he finally heard the study door close, he collapsed to the floor in the kitchen, shivering uncontrollably.

  Oh, fuck, that had been close. He buried his head in his hands as he tried to get his breathing under control.

  When he'd heard his uncle's SUV crunching down the gravel road toward the house, he'd nearly had a heart attack. Shawn had seen the panic in his face and told him to just run, that he'd take care of the stuff on the beach.

  Casey was so grateful that Shawn didn't question his worry that he'd taken off up the path, praying he could beat his uncle to the house. But he hadn't. His uncle had already opened the front door before he could get inside.

  The only thing he could think of was to stay on the deck and grab one of the towels drying on the rail and lay out, pretending he'd needed sun.

  When his uncle had stormed out looking so furious, he was sure the man was ready to hit him again. He'd managed to use his fears to fuel his own anger towards his uncle's commands.

  And fortunately, it seemed to work. Uncle Martin had no idea that he'd just been down on the beach with Shawn. But now, Casey could feel the adrenaline from the worry of getting caught fading from his body, leaving him an exhausted, quivering mess.

  Chapter 15

  Shawn eyed Casey carefully as he stepped out the back door onto the porch. He felt like a freaking stalker, hiding in the bushes like this. After yesterday, he was worried the younger man wouldn't even come today after their near fight, and the panicked looked of nearly getting caught by his uncle. The bastard had come back early, and the look on Casey's face when he'd realized the sound they heard was the SUV's tires on the road was pure terror.

  Shawn had wanted to grab the guy and just hold him and tell him that there was nothing to be afraid of, just like Casey had done to him before they'd gone back into the ocean. He wanted to calm the guy's fears, to be the one that Casey felt safe with
.

  But at that moment, he knew Casey would break if he did. He'd lose the man if he tried to hold him. So he'd told him to run instead.

  So today, Shawn had made his way, carefully, through the tropical 'forest' that separated his little cottage from the Jorss home. He'd been waiting about a half hour, hidden by the huge broad leaves of the tropical palms, before Martin had actually left. Then he had debated just going ahead and knocking on the door to check on Casey, but instead, he waited to see if the man would come out on his own.

  When the glass door finally opened, Shawn let out a huge sigh of relief. He quickly stepped free of the underbrush.

  "Casey, man, are you okay?" Shawn burst out.

  Of course, the blondish man almost jumped out of his skin. "Shit, Shawn, you scared the crap out of me."

  "Sorry."

  "What are you doing up here?" Casey asked, his gaze snaking to the road, and Shawn realized just how anxious he was.

  "I was worried," Shawn said, his eyes raking over Casey. He wanted to take the man in his arms and just squeeze the fear and worry out of those beautiful gray eyes but waited to see how Casey would react to being with him again after such a close call. "You were so afraid when your uncle arrived back early, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

  The younger man's countenance seemed to collapse as he sighed heavily, taking the final steps down the deck to meet Shawn. Shawn would almost swear that Casey was about to dive into his chest, but he pulled up short and stared up at him instead.

  "I'm okay," the soft voice finally said. "I was able to get to the deck and pretend I'd just been sunning out there, so Uncle Martin didn't figure it out."

  "Good," Shawn smiled tentatively, dropping a hand on Casey's shoulder and rubbing the tense muscles there. "I was afraid that you'd decide not to come out to see me anymore. You know, with my asinine comment yesterday."

  Casey's shoulders tensed under his hand, and Shawn worried that maybe Casey had only been coming out to tell him that he was done hanging out anymore.